The first day of school for the past decade has oddly fallen on the same day the summer weather hits the road and cute summer outfits are just too cold to wear any longer. As with all new things, the motivation at the start is ready to get moving, and make this year easier to manage than the last. The first few weeks, I have a foot in each boat. My fall motivation combined with my summer relaxation means I get all my work done as early as possible and relax guilt-free for the rest of the evening. I’m still adjusting but I’m on top of things. I am the most productive I will be all year, until the seasonal depression hits. The sadness, the fatigue, the questions of what I got myself into, the feeling of not being able to care less. I fall down this hole and knowing quite well that I won’t be out till the spring, I make do with what I can.
The winter is full of jumpstarts. It gets dark earlier everyday and I feel my excitement slipping. My motivation is still there, but it desperately wants to go into hibernation. Every few days, when the to-do list takes longer than 30 minutes and it’s still the bare minimum, I must jumpstart my motivation and bring it back to the table. In front of me is my own reflection in the window, the outside pitch black and my desk lamp reflecting everything that’s inside. My feet are a little cold, but it keeps me awake. I constantly want to crawl into bed when I get home and just let the day go. But there’s work to do. I get it done, and I feel motivated and excited that I just might be my productive self again. It lasts a day or two longer, then I give myself the reward of laying down for an evening.
I see the horizon on sight, and just the anticipation brings me some motivation. The rain doesn’t help, and it’s still quite cold. It feels more like drudging than awakening. The transition seasons always throw me off a bit, so right now, it’s just about making each day as easy as possible. Get things done early, leave little to the evenings. The repetition of each day starts to really hit me, and I’m hungry for a change or adventure. That means some work will be sidelined for exploring travel ideas and outfits online. I’m just waiting around for summer. What once was a stagnant pool of productivity, however, is turning into a gentle river. Even though I doubt myself every year, soon I know the waterfall will come.
Summer Iris is the best version of myself, in my opinion. I can take the heat and am so so grateful that my mind is no longer occupied by the thought that I am/will be cold, shivering at some bus stop. It’s so nice, and the warmth feels like a kind blanket. It let’s me feel a little drowsy and happy in the bright light of day. When it starts to cool a bit, my brain is awakened, and the work flows out of my in waves of waterfalls, landing with such force that it almost sweeps me away. I have ideas, and those ideas are suddenly making even more ideas. That’s usually when I know it’s going to be a good summer. The momentum is strong, and every item on my to-do list is completed the day it was planned for, and not an hour later. Downstairs, the air is cool and I feel like I’m a real modern worker of some kind. Upstairs, the heat has pushed out my family so the whole floor is mine, and I feel like I could do anything.